


Teen Idle

by sunsleeping



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Mai (Avatar), Passive Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsleeping/pseuds/sunsleeping
Summary: Mai is tired.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 70





	Teen Idle

Mai was… tired.

They were tired in the physical sense, the mental sense, the… well, they were tired in every sense. They were tired in the existential sense.

They’d tried talking to a therapist before their university had gone fully online and closed campus services, just a few times, not enough to really even build a profile up, but they thought that perhaps, just perhaps, it could have gone somewhere. Perhaps they could have figured out what was messing them up.

They had several suspicions of their own, but nothing aside from the management skills that they were finding on Reddit could help them now.

They were tired. They were so, so tired. They didn’t want to exist, but they had things to do, still.

They had courses to take, parents to please, parents’ society to please, and a girl to pretend to be.

It wasn’t that they wanted to die, necessarily, but they definitely wanted to be dead.

Or, no, they didn’t want their potential self to be dead. They wanted to be free from the girl that everyone saw, they wanted her to rest in a coffin, they wanted to finally breathe without the debilitating responsibility of acting like someone else. They wanted to fall asleep their self and never wake, but if they never woke they would never accomplish anything and--.

Their parents knew, now. They didn’t ask if there was anything that they could do; they refused to acknowledge that there was anything that they could, in terms of their problems or their not-a-girl-ness. Mai wouldn’t push them on anything, either, even if they thought on some level that they should try. Azula would tell them it was their job to, but Azula wasn't them.

Mai didn’t even fully understand who they were, yet, either, which certainly didn't help matters. They knew that there were things that they wanted and things that they were interested in, but nothing seemed to stick with them but their knives. They wanted tattoos and piercings, short hair and long hair, loose pants and sandals. They wanted to never hear a word of their parents’ society’s disapproval or disappointment, or that of their prior mentors, who had all been pleased with them when they were quiet and attentive and not gossiping like the girls around them.

They wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep. They wanted to sleep and dream.

They shifted on their bed, curling closer around the sweet girl wrapped up in their arms, fond.

They just wanted to be their self, with their girlfriend, safe and happy. They wanted their friends safe and happy.

They closed their eyes and dreamed.


End file.
